“My Child First”

Zane Pierre
4 min readSep 25, 2022


A parent’s love is unmatched. And to all parents, your love is necessary.

At the same time, is your love for your children destroying them, or setting them up for future destruction?

We have all grown around the influence of either the world of Psychology or our very families, friends or peers that have emphasized heavily that a child needs love and support. There is a plethora of things that are taught about what a child needs. And, if popular Psychology or the culture of family, friends or peers are not enough, the societal norms place and immense amount of pressure on parents to validate their parenting. This is a wicked cycle that both fathers and mothers face. It is a cycle that psychologically pushes them to go above and beyond for the happiness of their children in many different areas. Watch Tiktok. The mantra is “my child first”.

Among the many discoveries that have been made at the International Institute of Pneumatology is the fact that the human energy or mind is by nature self-existent. As it relates to the mind, this translates into what is called self-determination. In the context of personal management, it further translates into what is called self-sufficiency or self-management.
This basically means that every human being is designed to be self-determining, as well as self-sufficient.

To be self-determining, means to have free choice of one’s own acts or states without external compulsion.

To be self-determining the mind as a foundation requires a Principle to hold itself responsible to. It then develops a process of rationalization by applying this Principle to every situation or circumstance that arises. In doing this, one is said to have the ability to think.

To be self-sufficient, means to be able to maintain oneself or itself without outside aid : capable of providing for one’s own needs.
This basically means as it relates to the mind that one must be taught a literal template or process of rationalization that enables one to assess what is needed and make the decision to attain to it. The only way for one to develop this ability is in the absence of what is needed.

Unfortunately, whether it is via popular psychology, the common influence of family, friends and peers, or the voice of one’s pursuit of self-validation as a parent today, the parenting norms that have developed in our modern day civilization poorly surrounds the installation of Principles for the development of self-determination, as well as the practice of self-sufficiency.

Concerning self-determination.
The average parent is encouraged to give priority to how a child feels. This is not inherently an evil, but when it is applied as a parenting style to do what is necessary to make sure that a child is happy at all times, or as much as your capabilities permit, in the absence of the learning of Principles, the mind of the child develops the use of feelings as their life priority and births a process of rationalization using it.

What happens at this point?
The child grows with the assumption that this is how one thinks. They develop a system of logic where the life priority is to do whatever it takes for them to be happy. The problem with this is that they do this at the cost of equity to others. This is commonly called selfishness. In maturity, it can lead to narcissistic tendencies, and even criminal activities. Anyone who is blocking them from getting what they desire becomes the enemy and will be treated with contempt. Or, on the other side of the spectrum, they fall into deep bouts of depression if they are not getting what makes them happy.

This can easily produce bullies or victims of bullying. They are also unable to make any decisions regarding relationships. Emotions become their principle to define all of their concepts in life.

Question: Is this truly love for the child? Or are you setting them up for devastation and an emotionally hard life?

Concerning self-sufficiency
The average parent is encouraged to give their children everything that they want. From toys, gadgets, and foods. Most parents have been led to believe that by doing this, they are being very good parents. Duped by the societal standard that success is having money and possessions, and that a good parent provides all these things.

What happens at this point?
The consistency of having all the things that have been given to the child, the assumption that develops is that having everything that they have is normal. In the absence of having them they begin to throw tantrums.
In addition to this, they develop a sense of codependency. Their abundance did not provide them with the necessity to learn to be creative nor to learn and practice how to attain to anything.

The problem with this is that in their lives after this parenting style, naturally develop into the custom of giving someone else in their lives the responsibility to do everything for them. This is also applied in every relationship that they enter into. The risk that comes with this is that not everyone is kind, and nothing in the world that we live in is free. The law of reciprocity can be a harsh collector. The dependencies that they apply to others can come with very high costs.

Again, Question: Is this truly love for the child? Or are you setting them up for devastation and a very hard and cruel life?
Please think about it.



Zane Pierre

New Thought Leader | Pneumatologist | Self Existent Psychology | Spiritual, Life & Relationship Transformation Expert | Author & Writer | Podcaster| Coach