10 Factors that Destroy Marriages and Relationships
As a Relationship and Marriage Master Coach, there are many common factors that I have encountered in our relationships’ dynamics founded in the logic that we have been programmed to live from, that is simply destructive.
Wherever there is relational destruction, there is codependency in its various forms and fashions.
Below is a list of 10 things that destroy marriages relationally:
((This is not meant to be an exhaustive list but 10 out of many.))
1. Blaming your partner or spouse for causing you to behave in a particular way. This is generally is a lack of maturity. Both actions and reactions are fruit of your decisions.
2. A lack of personal responsibility for the relationship. This is a form of entitlement, where one assumes the authority to validate the other to receive love by giving them the responsibility to make connection take place.
3. Holding your partner responsible to criteria and expectations that they did not actively agree to. E.g. gender roles, comparing them to other persons, and judging them by comparing them to movie romances or romantic or sexual fantasies.
4. Assuming the authority to presume what your partner means in conversation, instead of asking for clarity.
5. Holding your partner responsible to communicating what they feel without making you feel hurt. This is manipulative and controlling and highly self absorbed.
6. Not listening for the heart of your partner. Many people instead subvert listening with the desire to be validated.
7. Exalting your desires over your partner’s desires as though yours is more important. Many people are not equitable but very self-absorbed.
8. Demonstrating arrogance. Arrogance in a relationship is the emotional equivalent to acts of physical violence. Arrogance immediately causes spirits to disconnect. Arrogance is a form of emotional assault.
9. Not having actual agreements with. expressed expectations. Agreements are mechanisms of relational equity.
I0. Negligence to what your partner is complaining about. Negligence in this context is being an emotional bully. Many people ignore the simple things that are disadvantageous to their partner because they are comfortable with their culture and norms.
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